I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she looked like the before picture.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
