Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
