Having a random hookup so left but love u
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
