No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Randomize
