Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
