it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
