He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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