Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
