i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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