the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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