This girl is more easily done than said...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
