He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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