i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize