I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
