I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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