This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
