if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
