No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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