This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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