so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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