we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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