I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
