He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
