He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
