He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
