KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
