Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
