That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
