Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think my nap took me to another dimension
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
