Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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