Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
