I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
