I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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