I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
