Apparently you make a good broom.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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