Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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