i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
