I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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