Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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