it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
