I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
