Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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