OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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