just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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