You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
