Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
