An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
