Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
