he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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