Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
