Dual....:-)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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