Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
